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If you ever consider opening a restaurant,

 
or a business that you need builders, licences, approvals, Solicitors, equipment, suppliers and bank loans for, please feel free to read and digest the following to help guide you through the potential (and likely) pitfalls that you may (read 'will') encounter.
 
If possible, take over an existing restaurant. That will eliminate the need for a lot of approvals and legislative red tape.
 
Make lots of friends before doing anything. Favours (like friends) are priceless.
 
Prepare a thorough business case. This saves so much time in explaining and "proving" (at least in theory) that the business should work. If it doesn't...stop now!!
 
Marry a Quantity Surveyor, failing that; make sure you know what you are letting yourself (financially) in for. If no QS's are readily available, date the Inspector from the Council and dump him when all the approvals have been granted. Or if you are really desperate date someone from the Home Office, but seeing that you never deal the same person twice, you have to be really on your toes.
 
Use recommended tradesmen wherever possible. Do not trust anyone who needs money!! If you give it to the in advance you won't see them again, if you hold back then they will go to someone else who pays them!!
 
Get your budget right, check it, check it again three days later, and add 25% (this applies if you are married to a QS or not).
 
Prepare a detailed programme of works. Check, re-check then add three months onto the end (mainly for Council Approvals unless you are dealing with the Home Office or have any workmen (?!?!)). Review your plan continually, plan the works and make sure you are aware of any lead-in times for equipment or having anything made for you.
 
Expect the unexpected. Always!! Especially from the Home Office who are the most inconsistent and obstructive people ever to walk the earth (even more so than Gerry Franklin).
 
Do not expect anything to go as planned (especially with the Council, Builders or Home Office), and be prepared to adjust to suit, and keep copious amount of alcohol ready to hand for assistance in re-planning. (Make plenty of (legible) notes at this stage of events).
 
Stand up for your rights and for what you believe in. Be prepared to fight for what you want. Read the rules, read the regulations and use them to strengthen your case as most of the people that make the decisions interpret (to suit their own needs) rather than comply with their own requirements.
 
Remember ; Strangulation, is not the recommended solution to anything, not only will you go to jail but someone else will benefit from all of your hard work setting up the business.
 
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